Well readers you can breath a sigh of relief that you no longer have to hear about my car woes. The Spousal Unit and I were able to find what we hope will be a trusty car. I ended up contacting a local well-known used Volvo dealer and repairman and he had a car that fit our price range. Long story short, we bought it and it was just inspected so all should be well.
Now if you are a regular reader you know how much I hate the idea of incurring more debt since I am digging out of the mountain that I have been under for a while. So part of my fear was that our need for a car was going to make us slaves to a monthly payment and frankly that thought scared me shitless.
I have to say it was a lovely feeling to buy a car using cash and knowing that aside from maintenance issues which of course you would have with any car, that we are not going further into debt. While the car purchase has pushed back my family travel plans I have to say there is something to be said for living within ones means. Besides I even have a couple bucks left over from my year-end bonus so I really can’t complain.
So thanks to everyone who weighed in previously on the car situation and have a lovely weekend.
Ok, it’s just a drive by kind of night since I am thigh high in planning holiday miracles thanks to my day job. Which is resulting in one very tired Mama, ask me how come we have been eating dinner at 8 pm?
Anyhoo, after work, I stopped by the local Starbucks to get my evening Peppermint Mocha….yeah, I know wasteful but damn they are good. So I was chatting with my favorite barista, a middle-aged fellow who works there and it came up that he was in the middle of a divorce. Now seeing as how I had been the one who mentioned his wife, I felt bad and immediately apologized to which he said oh don’t worry. So I shared with him there is life after divorce, after all the Spousal Unit and I are on 12 years of marital mostly bliss and it’s my second marriage. Hell, this one has lasted way longer than the first one.
But as I got back in the car it dawned on me that Mister Barista is one of a slew of folks I seem to be running into who either just got divorced or are in the middle of the process of divorcing. Most of these folks have kids and frankly I swear I saw em earlier this year and they all seemed happy. What the fuck happened?
I will tell you what happened…reality. Now maybe some of these folks were just badly partnered as was the case with the first husband and I. Really that marriage wouldn’t have lasted no matter what. No, for most folks they fall in love and they are expecting roses and butterflies every day…sorry kids that is fantasy island shit. I know I have written on this topic before but I feel like it’s a subject that needs to be discussed often.
Hell, if folks really knew what they were getting into they’d either flee before taking that final walk or not be crushed when reality turns out to be so utterly different. Look, I have been honest in this blog there have been times when the Spousal Unit and I were in a nasty patch. It just so happens that at the moment things are good, have no fears we know it can change at any minute so we enjoy the good patches, helped along greatly when the child lets us have time together. I tell you its amazing what a lazy Sunday morning can do for a marriage, hell it almost reminds you of why you married in the first place. The thing is it’s never going to be quite like that, so accept it and see the good that is there every day.
Got a man who makes your morning coffee before you get up? That is good. Hell, if he cooks that’s even better. Does she let you watch the game in peace on Sunday afternoon? Great. See a theme here? It’s the day-to-day shit that trips up couples. It’s amazing how we make lists of what we want in a mate that is not at all based in reality then wonder what went wrong. What went wrong is that we just don’t think about the day-to-day living aspect of staying partnered and its the small shit that can drive ya mad.
So consider this post a quarterly service announcement on staying together lest you up saying tis the season to split up.
PS: I know I have taken a flip tone here and in some cases there are very real reasons to get the fuck out of dodge and end a bad marriage because one partner is completely apeshit or something…but I do think the seeds of discontent often start with small things and grows from there in part because in our culture we think happily ever after. Of course no one ever talks about what that really looks like so when shit starts going south, we think jump ship when what we might need is a reality check.
You can expect to hear about my car woes until we make a final decision on how to take care of this situation. The bright side is whatever decision we make, it has to be done by the end of the month since my current inspection sticker ends at the end of the month. If you are not a regular reader and you wonder what the hell I am talking about, you can read this post.
So after talking the car situation over with folks who are more knowledgable about cars than either the Spousal Unit or I, the consensus is all things considered, getting a new or at least new to me car is probably the preferred route to go. While we were content to drive a paid for sardine mobile that really isn’t meeting our family needs….the boy child at 6′2 hates riding in our car, hell at 5′4 I find the backseat pretty damn uncomfortable, so I feel his pain. (yeah, I still sit next to girl child in the back when we are all in the car).
Now my preferred option was to look for a car that I could buy in cash but after asking around and spending hours on Craigslist. Every car we can buy in our range, is either old as Methuselah, or is a bargain because it needs work. Um….I am not buying your piece of shit to have to dump a boatload of cash into it. Hell, if I do that I might as well sink the cash into our already paid for piece of shit.
Now, due to a few pesky credit issues, going to the bank and getting a loan is not an option. Which leaves going to a dealer and seeing what they can offer as far as financing. Well, thanks to the suggestion of a regular reader, we decided to call and seek financing before we go to a lot. Turns out it was a great idea, H/T to On Bradstreet for that idea. Only now that is when the fun starts.
Clearly dealers who are willing to sell a car to folks with creative credit issues really are um, interesting characters to say the least. Now I am not gonna call em out and say they are clever con men but clearly they figure folks who would do business with them are so desperate for a ride, that doing any research on the cars would never cross the buyer’s mind.
So at first I was happy we were approved for what appeared to be a decent sum of cash until I started doing the fact finding on the vehicles available. Um….please, please tell me dealer man how come all your cars are at least a thousand bucks over what Kelly Blue Book recommends for the retail price. Now look, I know you are trying to make some cash, hey I can dig it.
The problem is not only is the car a thousand bucks over what any person with great credit would buy, but your creative financing makes that car even more expensive. Look, I know I need a car but the idea of paying you $12,000 for a car that is really only worth $7000 is well stupid. Maybe its age and wisdom but I really want to avoid short-sighted decisions since it’s that type of thinking that got me to the point of less than stellar credit. Of course I need a car and beggars can’t be choosy.
So the Spousal Unit and I have gone to one of the largest dealers in the state of Maine that also has a division that offers creative financing. Now we are waiting to hear back from them since they have a far better selection of cars and cars that have far lower prices than dealer number one who must think we have a Boo Boo the fool sign stuck to our heads.
I gotta be honest, there is a part of me that just wants to sink the cash into this car and pray but with a starting price tag of almost $1300 and knowing that is not the final cost and that we may only be buying a few more months of drive time, that seems like a bad idea.
Now this whole situation while pissy makes me really mad for the millions of low-income folks who get suckered into these types of schemes on a regular basis. While my financial mess is my own doing thanks to not paying attention there are millions of folks who really do only see that price tag of $65 a week for a late-model car and think, great deal. It’s the same shit that keeps the Rent a Center places open too and it basically amounts to preying on the less fortunate.
So no answers yet, but hey if you live in Southern Maine and have a decent stickered car for $2000 or so drop me a line, I may want to take a look at that car. As for me, I have all day to look online since we are having quite the storm here in my corner of the world.
I had no intentions to write on the topic of Tiger and Elin Woods but as my life spins out of control at the moment (thank you again Murphy) I need to step away from myself and focus on something else.
Obviously unless you have been living under a rock, you have heard about the poor unfortunate Mr. Woods who it would seem had an accident with a car, a tree and a fire hydrant who may have possibly had his block knocked off by his golf club wielding wife. It’s my understanding that it would appear that Woods decided to get some side action in the form of extracurricular lovers and his wife was none to happy about that shit.
Now I don’t condone violence but as a human who loves and has loved, I understand what it might feel like to just have had yet another baby with what you think is the love of your life only to learn he is a low down dirty bastard. It’s in such instances that all rational thoughts might leave you and you decide to do something as insanely stupid as beating the shit out of your husband with a golf club.
Problem is Woods is a well-known man with a squeaky clean reputation who also has been haunted by racial issues and the fact he is married to a white woman…well, that complicates this matter. Let’s face it if his wife was one of the Williams sisters, we’d still be chuckling but I hardly think it would be so consuming. Instead we have a man of color (since Woods by his own words is not a Black man though most of us would call him a Black man) who dominates in a sport not traditionally played by folks of color, who is married to a very white woman.
As some of my favorite bloggers have mentioned in the past week, his situation is volatile in so many ways. Hello, had he attempted to wack Elin, he would be the new millenium OJ Simspon, luckily for him, he got the hell out of dodge though he clearly got wacked.
Now there are plenty of folks talking about how this serves him right, I can’t say it does. Though as woman, I actually feel bad for Elin. Marital issues suck and to have millions of folks in your business has got to make a rough situation even harder.
So Tiger, perhaps you should think twice before you creep out on your wife. I mean, the public beating you are taking cannot be worth that taste of tail you enjoyed on the side. Elin, while I understand you were mad, what would have happened if that club had done some damage to Tiger? Look, he did you wrong girlfriend but the only reason you are not in the clink or facing some serious charges is because you are Elin Woods and not Tyshonda Woods. Remember ole girl from that band in the 1990’s TLC who burned her ex-lovers house down? Really no man is worth possibly giving up your freedom.
Instead next time Tiger decides to be a cheetah, get those babies in the car, get out of dodge and get a damn good divorce attorney.
I am in full vent mode today, so if I sound crazy it’s because my plans have been tossed aside by that bitch named Murphy. Regular readers know I am struggling to reduce my debt and live a more frugal life. It’s been going fairly well despite falling off the no Starbucks wagon. It’s those damn Peppermint Mochas that come out only in winter, they are so good and work is so stressful and well after work I like to unwind with a hot beverage. Yeah, I can make a Chai at home but damn those Peppermint Mochas are great. Thankfully I have been keeping to the budget in every other way so I am trying not to feel too guilty.
Well December in addition to being Christmas which we celebrate and generally requires me to spend some cash, it’s also car inspection time for us. What that means is we take the car to the mechanic and he determines whether or not we get the state required sticker that legally allows us to drive our car. Now being the good planner I strive to be these days, I had planned for this event using last year’s repair costs as the gauge for how much cash to save for this blessed little event. Turns out I got it wrong….very very wrong.
To repair our 12-year-old car and keep her on the road legally is going to cost a minimum of almost $1300 and I say minimum because there is one repair that Mechanic Man says he can’t give us the price on until he starts doing the work. Um….to say I was stunned and pissed is an understatement. Now we bought ole Bessie from a friend several years ago after our other car died after a very long stint with us. When we bought this car, it was a good alternative to going into debt since we had gone that route before and frankly I have decided I hate car payments. Getting a car on a 5 year loan seems like a great idea but for us it sucked. Problem is the cash car has been a bit of a money pit and now I am trying to plan our next steps.
Part of me wants to just pay the cash and fix ole Bessie but not having an exact price makes me very skittish, there is also the fact this car is as comfortable as a Cracker Jack box and is really too small for our family. On the other hand, I only have about 2G’s to buy a car in cash and at the moment, I am not running across a great deal of selection since thanks to the lovely Cash for Clunkers program, a lot of really decent used cars got taken out of circulation. So whereas at the beginning of the year I saw some decent cars for a couple grand, now that is not the case. Which leaves option three, go to a dealer and get a car and a car payment. Now as a member of the less than stellar credit club that means I will get a shitty deal as far as financing and as a member of the get the fuck out of debt club that pains me.
Problem is I live in Maine, a place with not a great deal of options when it comes to getting around sans a car. It’s possible but not really. I mean this ain’t NYC, Boston or Chicago. Plus I have a job, so as you can see I have a problem. The only upside is I have until the end of the month to solve it so I have time to explore my options but really barring a fabulous used car made in this decade, that is available for 2G’s, my options are not great.
So trusty reader, I ask you, what would you do in this situation? Do you take a chance and keep ole Bessie and sink a ton of cash into a 12 yo old car or do you decide enough is enough. Is this a good case for incurring some debt for a ride? Decisions….
I have been doing this blog well over a year now, a year and some change. I have talked about a fair amount of topics. It’s been a while but if you are a regular reader, you know I like food…a lot. I like good food and when the spirit moves me, I like, no love to cook. Sadly the spirit has not been moving me since my ass is struggling to just get past this month. I swear December is the culmination of all that plagues those living on the financial edge and yours truly gets to hear it all. By the time I get home, I have no energy to even think of providing nourishment to my family…thank goodness for a freezer stuffed with soups! As well as a few trusty inexpensive places to eat at when I need to eat out!
Anyhoo, in all the talk of good food, organic food, healthy food, it might be easy to assume that I fall into the food snob category. Well, it’s an easy mistake to make since it seems anyone who fits a certain criteria clearly would never eat junk food or feed it to their kid. Um….not at all.
In fact I was happy after a conversation with a local friend the other day where we were discussing the merits of chili dogs and it turned out we had both grown up eating chili dogs made with Hormel canned chili with no beans. Even now as adults, a proper chili dog at home needs to have Hormel’s canned chili at least for me. Yeah, I know how to make chili from scratch and in the cold weather months, I do it often. But when I feel the urge for a chili gog, I reach for the canned chili.
Now I know for some of my readers as well as some in my personal circle that probably sounds like a gross admission. I mean let’s face it canned foods really have a pretty bad reputation. Maybe it’s because of my work but I have to admit the growing trend towards food snobbery at times gets on my nerves. Yeah, its nice to have a lovely home cooked meal made from scratch with wholesome foods but in a time when so many are struggling to just put food in their bellies, I can’t get worked up on what people eat. Let’s face it sometimes it’s just not financially feasible for some to eat healthy. It’s funny because we live in a time when it’s frankly more costly to eat healthy than it is to simply eat. As I have developed my own cooking skills, while I find cooking to be relaxing at times, fact is it often requires more, not just in cash, but in time and tools, things that some lack.
Recently I was in a discussion where someone asked why would anyone use creamed soups when they can make them? Good question. My guess is because it’s a time-consuming endeavor, I like creamed soups and make them often, but if I was making a meal that required a creamed soup, I’d probably use a canned soup instead of making it from scratch. Unless I had one already in my freezer, leftover from a previous meal.
I am a big believer in moderation. Now a steady diet of canned unwholesome foods is bad for you, yet at times it seems that those of us who admit to liking less than healthy foods tend to be seen an unenlightened bunch. The fact is anything can be bad for you, I have met too many vegetarians who frankly were not healthy eaters.
The thing is when you look down or make judgements on folks based off what they eat, what purpose does it serve? Food is a deeply personal thing, many of our attitudes and thoughts on food are shaped by our childhood and while many of us may change the way we eat as adults (hello…I am a Black woman with southern roots, fried chicken, fried fish, collard greens cooked in pork products anyone?), sometimes even the healthiest, most organic eating folks still have appetites for things based off our youth.
While I have no problem with anyone eating a certain way, it’s when we use food as a means to judge and look down at others which is not cool.
Today’s post is personal and written from my lens as a Black woman in America, so if it seems there are generalizations in what I am about to say, it’s because this is my personal truth. Can I just say that I am going through some shit that has me wondering how come I wasn’t born white? Look, I am not a self loathing Negro who hates my race, nah…went that route 20 years ago, been there, done that, got the t-shirt as Dave Ramsey would say.
Instead I wonder how come in this so-called post racial era of Obama it seems life has gotten a lot harder for all us Black folks who are not connected in someway to the great Black hope that currently resides in the White House. (Damn, if only I had been able to afford the better hairdresser back in Chicago, maybe I could have met Michelle O and got a job….I used to go to the same hair salon as the First Lady, but she saw the pricier stylist and I saw the cheapest one in the already overpriced salon but I digress).
Folks like to say but we have Obama, racism is dead. Really? Well according to this lovely article which reflects a lot of what I am dealing with right now. It seems you can be a Black person who follows the societal approved path for success, college, etc and still end up underemployed or unemployed. Yes, I know many whites are facing the same fate but the unemployment rates for Blacks are well above that of whites so we really cannot compare the two races in this matter. See, in America most Black folks would agree that our path to success and creating wealth since most of us do not have generational wealth already built up, depends on us going to college and getting a good job. Problem is getting a good job is a lot harder than one would imagine.
See, in America, you can be a Black person with multiple degrees from good schools and sadly you still might not earn as much as a white guy who didn’t finish college. Shit, you might even realize Mister No Degrees is your boss? How about that? Now on a practical note, it helps to have the ability to earn a living sans a job, in other words by marketing your own skills directly to folks in need. I have done this in the past, working with small non-profits giving advice and assisting with grants. It was a life saver a while ago, and I highly encourage everyone to work on their hustle skills…never know when you will need them.
Yet if you are a Black person who still believes in the American dream and that you too can have a slice of the pie. Well the answer is screw a college education, read books, go to museums on your own. No, what you really need is a white suit, or maybe some of Sammy Sosa’s skin rejuvenation treatments. I was trying to figure out how much whiteness could I have bought with the amount spent on my degrees? Let’s see at last check with interest it seems my undergrad and graduate degrees cost $112,000. I think for that kind of loot, there is someone out there would have at least turned me into a Jennifer Lopez colored babe.
Look, I know I am taking a joking approach to a rather unpleasant situation but sometimes I think we have to find the humor in these moments or else we will snap.
Look, I know it sounds crazy, but imagine if someone created a realistic white suit? Too dark to get a foot in the door, no problem. Slip into your handy dandy white suit. b
As further proof that I need to rename this blog old black chick in Maine, I have only recently learned about the Kindle reading device. I had heard about it a while back and knew that it was a reading device but after hearing a few folks recently debate the merits of the Kindle versus the Nook, I figured I would find out what the hype was all about.
Let me state for the record that I am a voracious reader, I love books, I love to read. Never am I reading less than 2-3 books at a time. We as a family are on a first name basis with the library, going at least 2-3 times a week. I admit there was a time when I used to pass by the library instead to spend money at bookstores. Yet in 2007 when our financial tide shifted I was reintroduced to the joys of the library and have been a fan ever since. I will buy a book, but generally only if it’s a very specific book that I will either use as a reference guide or something I really want to own.
Yet as someone who always travels with a book in my bag, I thought maybe it would be great to have less weight in my bag, which is why I was checking out the Kindle. So if I have done my reasearch right, it appears that the starting price is $259 for the basic device, and then I have to start buying something to read on my device. Now I admit the magazine subscription prices seemed reasonable, I love magazine but I canceled almost all my subscriptions instead choosing to borrow them from the library. The few publications I still buy are quarterly so the cost isn’t too bad especially if I find a friend willing to loan me their copy.
What got me though was the cost of New York Times bestsellers, they were going for $9.99, I saw a few for $14.99 but I was told you can find inexpensive stuff to buy as well. Oh really? Once I started adding up how much my reading habit would cost to go Kindle, let’s just say I had a laugh and decided I will be sticking with the local library and the occasional visit to the local booksellers.
I think for folks making a comfy financial existence, who travel a bit and love to read, the Kindle might be a good idea. However for most of us regular Jane and Joe’s, I am not sure its a great idea. From a purely financial standpoint, it’s definitely not a great idea, after all in most places access to the library is free or there is only a very minimal cost to check out items.
No, the Kindle like so many other gadgets that we think we must have, seems to be another scheme to part us from our money.
One in eight Americans are currently using food stamps to eat. Let me repeat that figure, one in eight Americans are using food stamp benefits, with one in four kids receiving these benefits. This was the story that caught my attention this morning as I read the NY Times. To be honest I am not even surprised at that figure, I could have told you that months ago based off my line of work. I talk with the folks at our local food pantry on a regular basis and they have told me that weekly they are swamped with new faces. Faces of folks who use to bring in food or cash who are now on the receiving line.
Those of us in the direct aid business have noticed the new faces of those seeking help, in many cases the folks we now see look a lot like us. Poverty is a funny thing, we can wax poetically about helping “those” people…yet it’s funny when we start to realize that those people are a lot like us. It can become rather uncomfortable.
Think about it, if one in 8 Americans is dealing with food insecurity to the point of seeking assistance, that means there is a good chance that right now as you read this, there is someone in your inner circle struggling to survive. Oh they may still live in their middle class house and still have the Subaru/Volvo (insert car of choice) and have all the trappings of middle class success. But they may be cutting back on eating so the kids can eat, they are the ones I notice in the store who no longer have full carts and often look pained at the checkout line.
I talk a lot about money and my own mistakes with money so much that I think that there are those in my personal circle who think I am really bad off. Nah, I am in debt but I haven’t faced food insecurity since I was a kid. I may owe Visa, MasterCard and Discover card but thankfully we have not fought over a can of beans. I don’t even say this to be funny it’s just that the way I was raised and the work I do allow me to realize that while being in debt sucks, there is a wide road between being in debt and working to get out of it versus not being able to literally put the food on the table. It’s a distinction I remind the Spousal Unit of often when he gets down about our situation. Yes, I need to be out of debt but it’s a lot worse to be in debt and hungry.
I decided to write this today because the story stayed in my mind as our family went out to breakfast today, I generally prefer to save money by eating in but hey I am human and was simply tired. I thought about how fortunate I felt that I could make that choice. I started to think what could I do other than my professional work to help someone? If I knew someone personally I could help, I would and I will. I ask you dear reader that as we start this season of consumption, perhaps you can look around and see who in your circle needs help. Maybe you can buy one less gift and instead do something for someone else.
In this country of supposed wealth the fact that so many of our fellow citizens are struggling with basic needs such as food is wrong. We need to do something, what are your thoughts? Clearly what we need are jobs so that folks can get back to work yet that clearly is not happening at a rate fast enough to help folks, so instead we need to help our fellow-man/woman/child.
People tease me about my constant discussion of getting old, my oldest and dearest friend in the universe is fond of telling me, we are not old. Yet like many folks, getting old doesn’t bother me and on some level I totally embrace it. See, for many of us getting old means not making the same foolish mistakes we made when we were young and dumb. I see it as obtaining a certain level of wisdom by the virtue of the fact that we have been there, done that and got the t-shirt.
Which brings me to today’s post Thanksgiving rant. First up what the fuck is wrong with people? So a couple of wanna be reality stars thought it would be a groovy idea to crash President Obama’s first state dinner. Um….what is it about reality tv that makes folks lose their ever-loving minds? Now looking at the couple in question, they seem old enough to know right from wrong so clearly they missed the get wisdom as you get older bit. First we had balloon boy’s crazy parents and now this! Really, we need to pass some common sense drinks or joints out to folks, cuz some ideas are really bad and never need to leave the privacy of your thoughts.
Which brings me to the next point, what the fuck is up with the Secret Service ? Yeah, I heard…the O- man and his peeps were never in any danger. Um, considering that Obama gets ways more threats than any other president including his predecessor, might we want to take the security of the first Black President very seriously. The fact that this couple of wanna be reality stars were able to roll up to the party and even take pictures with ole crazy Joe Biden is scary.
Hello!!!! The enemies might be thinking right now, hey let’s look for some idiots we can promise a reality show with if they can do XYZ. I know that sounds crazy but look, Al Qaeda doesn’t need to go far to recruit they can just look for the next dumb ass America who wants fame and fortune. Shit, look what Richard Heene and his wife did, I am sure if they had realized how quickly they were going to be found out, poor Falcon might have really been in that balloon. By the way, if you do crash a party at the White House and are successful, maybe putting the pictures up on Facebook is a bad idea. since if I understand correctly this couple was found out after they posted pics on Facebook.
Nah…people are stupid and they confuse me.
Next up, the lure of Black Friday shopping. When I was a kid, I don’t recall anyone getting up at midnight or 2 am to go shopping after Thanksgiving. Call me crazy but it’s 9 am and my ass it still stuffed and the idea of going some place after eating a feast is something I have a hard time grasping. An old childhood friend mentioned she was going to be up at 4:30 am to shop today. I wished her good luck. Only way I could imagine getting up that early is if I were getting paid to shop, even then I might say no.
So if one of my readers can share with me what makes shopping today so great, I would love to know why so that I can expand my brain and attempt to be a tad less judgemental. As for me, I am doing some cooking and going to view some pretty trees this evening.
As you can see, I survived yet another holiday with minimal tears and down moments. Have a great weekend!
