We be Negros, now get away from me…

5 Sep

The past day or so has been personally challenging for me, I am going through my monthly leave me the fuck time of month, work has been crazy and we have family visiting from 2000 miles away. The sort of shit that makes a sista just want to scream.  So this morning, I called one of my good sista friends who lives not far away, and told her she needed to scoop a sista up for breakfast before I lost my mind this morning and snapped on everyone up in this beyotch which I would figured would be bad form when the in-laws are visiting. After a decade of officially being in the family, I suspect they still think I am bit out there but hey its all good.

So when my girl rolled up, I decided we should go eat at the local spot I eat at every Friday, they make a mean breakfast burrito sans meat plus I had my bottle of Thai hot sauce in my purse since I was ready for eggs and heat. (note: does anyone other than a Black woman carry hot sauce in her bag?) The particular place we were headed is a place I have been eating at for years, the folks that work there almost border on being friends, they are cool folks, of course being in Maine, they are white, but shit they cook right, so that is all that matters when my tummy is growling.

Anyway T & I pull up and walk into the spot, I ask the waitress if she can still hook me up with breakfast since I knew breakfast was ending, she was like “Black girl for you no problem” So me and T sit down and I am ready to order. Now in case you haven’t figured out T is Black like me, we rarely get together because our schedules never mesh but we have the type of relationship that if one of us needs something we are there for the other. All this to say, we rarely are in the same place at the same time.

Well apparently it was the day for fools to look us up and down, I admit I was oblivious since I was just sipping my coffee but T who actually lives in the same town as the Bush family was like “why all these folks looking like they crazy” so I look up and sure enough I see a big homey white woman walking towards a sista, talking about my hair…. I am too tired to get too detailed but next thing I knew she is asking me about my hair and how I do it, then her husband gets in on the action and next thing you know these strange ass white folks is touching a sista’s locs. Noooooooo. The waitress is looking mortified, she is a bit of a roughneck so she tries to intervene, mind you I am already having a bad day.

Now nobody got hurt and I did end up having my breakfast and blowing off steam but not before the adult child of the two nimrods apologized profusely on behalf of her parents. After the dust settled my girl says to me that knowing my temper, she was surprised at how calm I was, truth is so was I. I hate people touching me and I hate people touching my locs even more especially since they were partially covered. That said, I knew it was the time and place to just be chill because I was already so mad this morning that had I snapped at the bumbling white folks, well.. a sista might not be writing this at the moment since I would be at the county lock-up and that’s no joke.

Getting old is teaching me when to let some things go and this was one of those times, but damn, yes I am Black, I have dreadlocks and yes I live here in town and I do know the family that runs this joint, so get the hell away from me, you crazy ass mofo.

7 Responses to “We be Negros, now get away from me…”

  1. OG September 5, 2008 at 5:52 pm #

    LOL!! I know a white man from AL that carries hot sauce EVERYWHERE!! I usta to work and travel with him all the time, actually there are two of them. And they were diametrically opposed one was super lib and the other is right winger! I guess hot sauce should run for President…it’s the REAL uniter. *lol*

    Yes I caused a ruckus at work today because I decided to wear curly hair, I tell you this is the reason I never just bust out and where the shyts natural. Oh well have a better weekend! I hope you got your allergies under control. Mine seem to be behaving.

    -OG

  2. Dalyn September 6, 2008 at 12:29 am #

    Seriouslyy, Locks and white people have a strange relationship.

    You have no idea how many people have told me “When Bob died there were like 20 kinds of bugs in his hair” line (my daughter is named Marley, yes, as in Bob).

    There is a perception that locks are nasty…and if all you have seen is a white person with locks this is normally true. I always wonder if white folks with dreads are returning to their roots in letting the hair go “natural”.

    Whites who are isolated from black people are astounded that locks can be clean, neat, well kept, etc. etc. (this is of course no reason for acting stupid and getting all handsy).

    As a side note, I have developed a pet peeve about people calling braids locks. This is rampant with sports casters. You are trying to sound down and sound dumb. Knock it off.

  3. Lisa September 6, 2008 at 8:56 am #

    *Gasp*. Nothing sends shivers down my spine, more than the “curious’ white folk who want to touch my hair!!

  4. blackgirlinmaine September 6, 2008 at 9:56 pm #

    I shudder at the idea of anyone calling locks, braids but it happens here in Maine. People love asking about my “braids” and how do I do that to my hair..ugh. Of course its even funnier when I say that is how my hair grows and they get the does not compute look.

    @ OG, that is the first I have ever heard of a non-Black person carrying a bottle of hot sauce around. Though in all honesty I don’t take it everywhere, its just that with eggs, the thick Thai stuff is great. I hate asking for hot sauce and being given Frank’s or Tabasco, that stuff is not even hot.

  5. Kit September 7, 2008 at 12:55 am #

    I went through this with a dentist once! He apparently never had a black patient before.

    You know, it’s too bad Americans don’t grow up in a mixed race & cultural environment. Curiosity about someone who doesn’t look a think like you is 100% normal. I remember being a kid at mixed-race camp and one of the things we all did was examine each others hair. It was innocent and non-threatening.

    But when big azzed adults have never had that opportunity, and my God, approach a perfect stranger in a restaurant to fulfill their lifelong curiosity, it’s intimidating and even humiliating. I imagine you felt like an animal at a petting farm. As least their adult child had the social skills to realize her backward parents were out of line. I imagine she gave them an earful on the way the way home.

    It’s kind of funny too, in a weird way. I’m glad you didn’t let it ruin your day… a day in Maine… lol.

  6. rawdawgbuffalo September 7, 2008 at 11:54 am #

    w
    o
    w
    only in america

  7. BlackWomenBlowTheTrumpet.blogspot.com September 8, 2008 at 12:20 am #

    Hey there!

    You can always use my favorite line on white people:
    “The miseducation of the Caucasian is NOT my priority today, and probably won’t be tomorrow either!”

    Then…I go right back to whatever I was doing!! Now THAT usually sends them off in a hurry…and nooo…they don’t dare reach out and try and touch my hair.

    Try it! (smile)
    Lisa

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